A Not-So-Quick Life Update
Hi folks!
I don’t normally do this, but for the handful of long-term fans I have, I felt like it might be a good idea to reveal a bit of what’s been going on in my life.
Not so long ago I was putting out both books and social media updates with great regularity. These days, not so much. This has produced a bit of concern from one or two of my readers. I’d like to say it’s nothing to be worried about, but that’s not entirely true.
As you probably knew–statistically most of my newer readers found me because of this–I used to help run a podcast about marketing. It was one of the most useful and important non-fiction parts of my career, and I thank Lindsay Buroker, Andrea Pearson, and before that Jeff Poole for effectively dragging me into it. (I need to be dragged into just about any good thing I do. It’s a pattern.) I made no secret of the fact my marketing chops were the weakest of the three hosts. Once the show wrapped up, I spent some time looking at my sales and my marketing and I decided I wasn’t in the right headspace to do the sort of floor-to-ceiling marketing revamp necessary to get my earnings back to where I wanted them, especially since there are no guarantees such a revamp would be enough. I made the tough decision to take a more casual approach to the publishing career and return to the workforce for my primary income.
It felt like a failure, and it still does. It shouldn’t. These things happen, but it still hurt. Still, it was more important to me that the writing remain joyful and escapist. I didn’t want it to become a grind, because not only would that be no better than the former day job, it would be depriving me of the one thing I had used in the past to escape the grind.
For two years exactly, I maintained my books at a hobbyist speed, by my own estimate, with most of my writing time going to my Patreon stories. Income from books sagged a bit more–but not much more, oddly. It didn’t matter, though. My bills were paid, and so long as the books were self-supporting then anything more was gravy. And most importantly, I was having fun.
I was having fun writing, that is, though we’ll get to that.
On my second anniversary of working with a great office of people, a private equity firm bought the place. They moved us all to a new office, and the new location made continued employment basically impossible. I was now going to be out of work again, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the labor market is pretty dire. And it was happening at a very bad time both economically and for me personally.
Overall, my mood was suffering. It soon became clear I wasn’t just feeling bad, I was feeling the kind of bad that requires professionals to diagnose and treat. It was depression, and once I tried to tackle it, two things became evident. It was pretty severe and it was not new. I had been heading down this road for a while, possibly for the greater part of my life. I just hadn’t prioritized dealing with it. But now I have begun taking the proper steps.
I’ve been talking to a therapist, and I got meds, so depression-wise I’m on the mend. Even so, it’s likely to be a long journey back to where I once was, or at least near to it. But, unfortunately, my brain isn’t the only thing betraying me right now.
For about 20 years, I’ve been suffering from chronic pain due to sciatica. The details aren’t important. A combination of some bad habits, genetics, and minor injuries left me with a couple of damaged discs and permanent nerve pain of varying intensity. Most of the year it’s manageable with stretches and exercise. A few days ago, I had my worst flare-up in ages. It’s started to recover, but it remains very difficult to sit for long periods of time without extreme pain, and I haven’t been able to sleep properly for weeks.
It’s a problem.
How big of a problem remains to be seen. Tests are pending, but it’s not going to help my income or mental health, that’s for sure. The good news–and there is good news–is that my earlier writing career allowed me to sock away a very nice nest egg for just this occasion. I’m not thrilled that I’ve had to break into it, and it won’t last forever, but even after a year, the book income and savings have kept me out of the danger zone and broadly debt-free. I’ve also been fortunate enough to find a publisher in the form of Heart Ally Books. They’ve been handling promo and the final aspects of book releases to free up some mental bandwidth. Their help has been a godsend.
In short, as if I’ve ever been able to keep a story short, things are rough. They’ve been rough for some time, and will be for the foreseeable future. But I’m working on it. I’m working on my brain and my body. If luck is with me, I’ll come out the other side of this with a greater appreciation for what I’ve had and what I have.
Until then, I hope you enjoy the things I’m cobbling together as I make my way forward. And trust me, you’ll be hearing from me soon with some new releases and projects, because even while I’ve been going through this, I’ve also been finishing things up.
Thank you for reading.